


The Great North Road

by aurorlaura



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Eventual Harry Potter/Severus Snape, F/M, Gen, M/M, Not Epilogue Compliant, Post-War
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-12-26
Updated: 2021-02-20
Packaged: 2021-03-11 05:47:12
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 10
Words: 17,752
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28346364
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aurorlaura/pseuds/aurorlaura
Summary: Severus Snape meets three mysterious witches who give him a choice and a potion. Severus returns to Hogwarts, reconnects with his colleagues and has dealings with Aberforth Dumbledore as well as with Harry Potter who, along with most of his cohort, is going to finish his education at Hogwarts.
Comments: 17
Kudos: 14





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Writing this I'm often listening to the lockdown-recorded 'The World How Wide' which is a choral reimagining of Vaughan Williams’ Fantasia on a Theme by Thomas Tallis. Best heard while watching the video of Northumberland landscapes filmed from above.
> 
> Also on my desktop I have this gorgeous art by the genius Snape fanartist kedroboiz https://kedroboiz.tumblr.com/image/190251346644

May 1st 1998 

Before the darkness came, the pain released him. In the absence of pain, his world narrowed to green eyes. There was a push and a pull and if he had lasted a moment longer, Severus was certain that occlumency would have occurred though he couldn’t be certain in what direction. 

The next sense was again of green. The colour surrounded him damply, and it came to him that he was standing in mist. His feet he sensed were slightly sunk into damp earth. The mist was disorienting, so looking down to ground himself he made out stubby grass, sheep shit and bits of fleece. He noted the grass could be the rich colour of the Highlands, but it was also like the fields he knew as a child. Severus held out his hands and tried a simple mist-clearing spell. It worked well and he concluded this was natural fog rather than magic intended as a barrier. Reaching his awareness further, Severus found no ward around him and so took a step forward. 

The green in the distance became complicated by browns and greys and in particular by a dark mound just 50 meters away. As he approached, the mound revealed itself as a low stone house with a turf roof. Smoke meandered from the roof’s peak, and Severus wondered what kind of people would forgo the use of a chimney. His answer soon came as the air he was breathing suddenly thinned and he briefly lost balance. He stopped, having collided with a ward and an unusual one. The magical folk who used this building evidently didn’t mind alerting other magical folk of the ward’s presence. On the contrary, this felt like an invisible signifier - _you have found us._

As he pushed through the ward, he saw that the mist in the distance had cleared enough to uncover a large hill rising behind the house. The hill was large and distinctive - not tall but wide, one end gently sloping and the other more peaked. Severus realised at once where he was - unmistakably at the foot of the east side of Pendle Hill. A memory came to him of following Lily up that hill one June day as the weather progressed from cold and rainy, to damp and windy and finally to an almost cloudless heat as they reached the top and found they could see as far west as Blackpool. 

A muffled thump broke Severus from his reverie. A low door was now open to the stone building and in the entrance stood a teenage girl glowering at him with her legs planted, territorial. 

The girl’s witches robes were not modern though they were in good condition. A green hood was draped around her shoulders and brown eyes were narrowed at him under fair hair. When she spoke, Severus heard Cumbric sounds that recalled his great aunt Aliza from Penrith. 

‘Coming in?’ She half-commanded before turning back inside, leaving the door open. 

‘Aye,’ He responded unthinkingly and pressed on. 

Severus had to duck down under the lintel. He almost gasped as he stood upright again, finding that the old building’s wizardspace only went upwards but not outwards. The height of the ceiling was three times the width of the room and its beams hung with plants, animal parts and unfamiliar objects. The scents in the room were overlaid by seaweed mixed with ginger, and he surmised this was what was in the pot currently being stirred by a red-haired witch in a blue robe. 

The ancient building was clearly not a home, but was dedicated to potion-making. Ingredients crowded shelves that jutted from the stone walls and two rough wooden tables stood similarly overflowing. A fire with flames of red and violet rose from a pit in the floor at the centre of the room. The cauldron suspended over it was imprinted with symbols that he couldn’t make out. Whatever was being prepared could be heard simmering. The red-haired woman hummed as she worked and exuded a general air of contentment. When she turned a small smile towards Severus she spoke with a manner of such familiarity she might have been greeting a beloved son just home from the shops. 

‘Hello lad. Welcome. You can have a seat if you like. I’m Alice and this is Jenny.’ 

Jenny, the younger woman, joined Alice at the fireside and now gave a pointed look towards a low stool in the corner of the room. Severus obediently sat down. He wondered if Alice and Jenny were mother and daughter.

Alice carried on speaking. ‘So, you’ll be a Device? Or a Preston?’

‘Nay lass, this one’s a Prince.’ Came a harsh voice from the direction of the doorway.

Severus started in surprise having not heard the door open. The voice belonged to a woman much older than Alice. Her robes were grey, and as she drew down her hood Severus saw that her hair was white and tied into a bundle on top of her head. An overwhelming sense of presence entered the room with her. Severus briefly recalled the first time he had been alone with Albus Dumbledore.

The old woman stopped and faced Severus as he rose to his feet, feeling that he should stand as a mark of respect. 

‘I ken my own kin.’ She said and reached out a hand to his neck. 

For a moment Severus processed her words. _Ken_ ? _Kin_? This witch believed them to be related. He didn’t doubt for a moment that she knew that and a many other things. 

Her eyes were sharp and pale grey and the expressions on her face moved from calm to grave to a jaw-set determination. Throughout these transformations her hand full-palmed stroked down the side of his neck. 

‘Here is where it happened.’ Her voice was quiet as if she were speaking only to herself. 

Severus could not take his eyes from hers. His own hand rose to the same spot on his neck as she stopped stroking and turned away from him. His mouth opened slightly as a painful memory hovered at the edge of his thoughts. He did not quite remember but knew it to be true - his skin here should be torn. And yet it was smooth. 

‘Come to the fire if you like.’ Alice called to him. 

He stopped trying to bring back the painful memory and crossed the short distance to the fireside. The old woman reached into the folds of her robe. Holding out her hand and opening it, Severus spoke when he recognised what was in her palm, ‘Lonweed’. 

The three women as one looked at him in surprise. He explained. ‘I’m a potions master.’ At these words, Jenny’s expression changed to shrewd, Alice’s to something like pride and the old woman’s face reverted to the damp leaves she was holding. She took Severus’s left hand turned her hand over and pressed the lonweed between their palms. ‘Harvested from the River Lune at midnight on the first of May. You have arrived on an auspicious night, young Prince.’ 

‘My name is Severus Snape.’ He said, feeling the need to explain himself. Also feeling the need to justify his presence, he continued. ‘My mother’s name was Eileen Prince.’ 

Alice helpfully introduced the newcomer. ‘Elspeth is of the Prince line.’ 

Jenny interjected. ‘Elspeth is old enough to be related to every witch and wizard from the Pennines to the Ribble.’ 

The old woman busied herself taking the lonweed back from Severus’s grasp and dropping it leaf by leaf into the pot as Alice reversed the direction of her stirring. Elspeth’s tone to the younger girl was dismissive. ‘Aye, well the lad knows when he’s in the presence of a myth. Let’s get on with our work.’ 

He watched with interest as the colour, smell and simmer of the potion changed. He knew instinctively that the potionmaking was as important as Elspeth’s words. The ‘myth’ to which she referred may be the legendary lonweed healing potion that he had seen references to in books but never seen written down in full. The myth may also have to do with this place -this ancient site of potionmaking and magic. It was on a deep inhalation that the realisation hit him. He looked from Jenny, to Alice, to Elspeth. The maiden, mother and crone. These women were not really here, and this meant of course that neither was he. 

A gentle hand pressed onto his side. He looked down to find Elspeth gazing at him. Her voice was still rough, but her tone softer now. ‘You needn’t go on, you know.’ 

Severus swallowed. ‘On?’ 

Alice again turned her smile to him and her kind, matronly voice was encouraging. ‘Up yon hill.’ Her head gestured over her shoulder.

He was beginning to understand. He had a choice to make here. 

Jenny’s curiosity was piqued and she enquired of Elspeth. ‘Why would you stop his journey? He’s come this far.’ 

Elspeth had pushed into his mind, and just on the edge of his vision her wand was moving down the side of his body as blue wisps of light rose from him as though commanded by the movement. Elspeth spoke not to Severus, but to Jenny. ‘His journey is at a crossroads. It goes on, should he take that path. A figure has appeared on it that was not there before. A new path appears here too.’ 

The crone stood back, raised her chin and admonished Severus. ‘You are young, but your path has taken turns twice before. It now lays straight. Your task in the world is done, and yet the bonding of your soul may still lie before you. You may go forward or back but only one way leads towards completion.’ 

‘And to pain, let’s not forget that.’ Alice’s voice was quiet though the look she gave Elspeth was loving. 

Jenny seemed to make a decision. With purpose, she stalked to the door and pushed it open. Severus followed, turned his head to the side to see through the doorway and looked up towards the top of the hill. 

The girl’s voice was commanding. ‘Severus Snape, your fate is before you either today or another day. Your ascendancy...well, it can wait. From what Elspeth said, it sounds like your life has been lived for others. Should you want more of life, you can have it. Though remember that pain can’t be avoided, lad.’ 

Severus found that his feeling of kinship was moving away from the wise and powerful crone and toward this younger woman. He realised that he had arrived at this place owning a past and having no thought of the future. Now a future of possibilities and a destiny that he himself chose - the idea of it swelled his lungs. 

‘Come.’ Alice called. He turned his face back toward the fire and saw that she was ladling out potion into a white vessel in her hand. He approached her and held out a hand for it. She turned a handle toward him and he realised she was handing him a simple mug as one might find in a muggle kitchen. As he drew it towards him he marvelled at such an item being in this ancient place. The rim was chipped in two places. He gazed down at the swirling, steaming potion that was as murky as any river depths. He wanted to ask why he was being given this potion and what it is the witches thought needed healing, but his voice caught as he raised the mug and saw the outside of it. 

The crest of Accrington Stanley Football Club filled his vision and his heart skipped a beat. He knew this mug. He had his morning tea from it once and once only. He must have been about 9 years old. He hadn’t known that it was his father’s favourite mug but Tobias let him know it, grabbing the thing from his cupped hands and swinging it across his head, hot tea flying. He couldn’t remember his father’s words, only the terror and the pain and his own tears. Now a full-grown wizard and his father long in the ground, his hands shook as he brought the potion to his lips and drank.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Severus Snape returns to Hogwarts and makes another decision about his future

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This hasn't been beta'd so corrections etc are welcome.

Severus heard the rhythm of the words several times before he made them out. 

‘Wake up Severus, you’re safe now.’ 

It was a gruff voice and one he knew, just. 

‘Wake up Severus, you’re safe now.’ 

His palms, fingers, arms and legs were being squeezed rhythmically in a repetitive pattern and though it was strange, the feeling was invigorating. 

‘Wake up Severus, you’re safe now. It’s Aberforth. I’m just going to put some drops of potion into your mouth. Try to swallow.’ 

Severus opened his eyes but only saw a dark blur so closed them again. Something pressed against his lower lip and he slightly opened his mouth. The thing on his lip released one, then a second drop of something that numbed his mouth, then his jaw, then his throat. 

‘I expect you recognise the mixture of phoenix and unicorn tears. I inherited Albus’ apothecary. Just as well since I’ve had so many children to patch up these last months. Mind you, none were as torn up as you are so it’s the first time I’ve used this precious stuff.’

The numbness and his blindness remained as Severus was vaguely aware of a second, female voice, of being given a diagnostic spell, and then of being moved. The next thing he knew he was groaning in pain and his eyesight was back. 

‘Coming!’ It was Poppy. Though the shutters were closed, enough daylight was getting through that Severus recognised the staff section of the Hospital Wing. 

‘Fuck.’ 

‘Your voice is back then.’ 

‘Poppy.’

‘And your memory. Good. Now, I imagine you’ll know as well as anyone - is there a special treatment you’ll need for that monster’s venom?’ 

Severus stared at the ceiling, blinking. Poppy Pomfrey stood just at the edge of his vision, gazing at him in expectation and he thought her appearance remarkably unharried-looking for someone who had just been through a war - even if it was her second. 

Inhaling and exhaling deeply with a groan, Severus tried his voice again. ‘The antivenin I made two years ago should be fine. If you have Aberforth’s potion I’ll take that too.’ 

The Healer nodded once. ‘Good, well I have both here.’

‘Is the snake dead?’ He was embarrassed to hear his voice waver. Poppy heard the unasked question as well. 

‘Snake, Voldemort, many Death Eaters and Dark Creatures.’ The list was so matter of fact she could be listing the Hogwarts houses. 

‘Well done.’ He kept his voice steady and reached a hand out to touch her arm briefly. Resilient as she was, she would have fought hard and her healing duties would have been trying. 

She paused and brought her face into his line of sight, giving him a small smile. ‘Thank you. You too.’

From the moist, then numb feeling on the outside of his neck he gathered the phoenix and unicorn tear potion was being applied to his injury. He sighed and fell back to sleep. 

  
  


Severus was hidden in the Hospital Wing for three weeks while Minerva McGonagall tentatively established through Kingsley Shacklebolt that he was not bound for Azkaban. There would be formalities - an interview with Aurors that could take place at Hogwarts - and he was a free man. Kingsley visited him one afternoon. Neither man stated aloud what both were thinking - that the extent to which he would be considered innocent would forever depend on the balance of power in the Wizarding World. He would always be vulnerable to scapegoating were that to prove useful to a future Minister, newspaper editor or other establishment figure. 

There was one bit of insurance Kingsley could offer him. ‘I very much hope you will accept an Order of Merlin.’ He stated in the full richness of his voice. 

How could Severus refuse? He needed all the votes of confidence he could get. When the formal offer came by Owl the next day, he saw the Order would be First Class. In spite of himself, the offer choked him up a bit. 

The next visitor was Eunice Zabini. Eunice had been a few years ahead of him at Hogwarts, a Slytherin and a somewhat gawky teenager but now was a senior Cursebreaker and the mother of two teenagers herself. Severus also knew her to be the formidable new Chair of Hogwarts’ Board of Governors. Her manner towards him today was gracious, considerate and warm and she also needed an answer from him immediately. 

She greeted him as ‘Professor Snape’ rather than ‘Headmaster’ and the reason became clear after a respectable period of small talk. 

‘The start of the Autumn Term has been put back to the end of October while the Castle is rebuilt, the wards are checked and so on. You’ll be pleased to hear this is progressing well - overseen by a subgroup of the Governors. There is the matter of the teaching side. We would like as little delay as possible to the student letters. And there is the recruitment of someone for Defence Against the Dark Arts to carry out. Professor Slughorn has said he is happy to stay on as Potions Master another year if wanted, so that’s one post covered.’

At this point, Eunice’s friendly formality slipped and her face briefly took on an embarrassed smile. ‘You’ll be surprised to know, as we were, that there is some uncertainty as to who, technically, is currently Headmaster. The Governors assumed it was yourself of course, but we have learned…’

Severus held up a hand. ‘I may have abandoned my post.’ 

Something about her bearing relaxed. ‘Perhaps, yes. Though the uncertainty isn’t only because you left the grounds at a time of need, but that in doing so while in the midst of a duel, the Castle may consider, but only _may_ consider that the individual you were dueling...it’s an _extremely_ old ordinance and has only applied once before, centuries ago. The post of Headmaster may be relinquished - or won - in a duel.’ 

‘I assume we have ways of testing if the ordinance applies?’

‘This is being found out. The best authority however seems to be Professor Binns, so…’

They gave each other a wry look. 

Severus sighed. ‘Very well, I await any news. In the mean time, might Minerva be willing to accept the interim roles of both Deputy Headmistress and Headmistress?’ 

Eunice nodded, pleased that they understood one another. ‘She is. Thank you Professor.’

Severus had closed his eyes before she stood up to go. This was a particularly exhausting conversation. His pride would not let him simply give up the role of Headmaster of Hogwarts, and certainly not without the promise of the Defence Against the Dark Arts job to go to. He wasn’t quite sure which role he preferred at this point, but in any case the decision was not his to make, but the Castle’s. 

In the end, who would fill the role wasn’t determined by a spell, or a testing of the wards to the Headmaster’s office, or any other magical means. It was instead a matter of a debate between the former Heads of Hogwarts. Severus and Minerva, as the two most likely incumbents of the role, stood amidst the portraits, answered questions, gave an account of the duel they fought that ended with Severus fleeing, went into some detail about the context of his actions, and finally held a vote. Dumbledore counted the votes, abstaining himself, and found them to be split evenly. 

‘You’ll have to have the casting vote, Albus.’ Asserted a testy Phineas Nigellus. 

Dumbledore frowned slightly. He looked at his former Deputy Headmistress. ‘Minerva, if asked, are you willing to take the role permanently?’ 

McGonagall was unfazed by the question. She gave the strong impression of not minding either way. ‘Yes, I am.’

Dumbledore then looked to Severus. ‘Severus, are you willing?’ 

Severus inhaled shortly and his voice stuck in his throat for a moment. A year ago, perhaps a month ago his pride would have answered for him. However, in that silent moment something shifted as he realised that he had won a victory in principle. All in this room believed that his actions in the duel had been justified, and all acknowledged that he had been duelling the Carrows and only holding off Minerva. Furthermore, it was now established that he fled knowing that the balance of power in the school had finally shifted enough away from Voldemort that he would be more useful elsewhere. Ultimately, his actions were seen by all here as having both the intention and effect of protecting school, staff and students. Now he could either consider his work done, or he could carry on. His eyes moved around the room, seeing men and women who had spent the last decades of their lives as Hogwarts Headmaster. Some had only ever been teachers, and some had come to this office after long and varied careers, experiences and personal lives outside of this institution. All at once, Severus knew his answer. He would however make it a bargain. 

Turning to his colleague, he made his request graciously. ‘If Professor McGonagal would consent, I would prefer the role of Defence Against the Dark Arts Professor.’


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Some sex, the return of Harry to Hogwarts and one plotting Slytherin.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This story is writing itself so quickly, I hope I'm not cocking it up too much. I hesitated to include the Ginny sex scene but maybe my subconscious knows better than I do.

The heat of sun on his skin was unlike anything he had ever felt before. Harry turned over onto his front, letting the warmth spread across his back as he stretched his toes into the sand. For the first time he understood what brought people to the seaside every chance they could get. 

‘We really are on the other side of the world, eh?’ Ron sighed next to him. 

Harry smiled over his shoulder. ‘Shall we stay?’

‘Believe me, mate, I’m trying to persuade her.’ 

Hermione wasn’t with them today. The restoration of her parents’ memories was a delicate process and for much of the past two weeks she and a mind healer from Sydney’s wizarding hospital were working together to build back up the Grangers’ former selves. 

Harry turned his face back toward the water and watched people pass. He wondered if it was just the sun and heat that made him notice, or if Australians were just unusually attractive. On his third day here he found that men as well as women were catching his eye. By the second week he was testing himself by figuring out the percentages of males to females and wondering if he should declare himself bisexual. At this point though, he was trying to just accept it and hope he didn’t get a visible erection. Now that he was no longer a virgin, the world seemed to be full of possibilities. He thought ruefully of his first time with Ginny. She brought him to the girl’s dormitory the day after the battle and just before she had to return to The Burrow. She wasn’t a virgin and knew what she was doing. He was awkward and afraid he would come too soon. He did come quickly but overall it felt good and he recovered quickly enough to have another go. Ginny was touching herself and when she shuddered and gasped he felt her pulse around him. It was amazing. He did miss Ginny but worried he wasn’t missing her as much as he would like to. 

He was remembering this when he caught the eye of someone sitting a few meters away. It was a man maybe ten years older than him with brown wavy hair, blue eyes and a soft smile. His swimming trunks were small and showed off toned thighs. Harry almost sighed aloud. He smiled back at the man, who held his gaze and lifted a hand to stroke down his chest. _He’s flirting with me_ , Harry realised. Then there was a movement of the man’s head, a gesture, then he got up and walked away. Harry waited a moment until he saw a backward glance. He considered that he could be misreading the signs, but he told Ron he would be right back, stood up, dusted the sand from his skin and followed. 

His first sex with a man was in a shower cubicle. He said his name was Tony and he was from Sydney. They didn’t say much else before Tony’s tongue was in his mouth and Tony’s hands were on his arse. Harry stroked the man’s cock and wondered if he was doing it right, but before he knew it a mouth was on his cock. He lasted longer than he had with Ginny. ‘I’m coming’ Harry warned, but that only seemed to encourage him. Tony’s hands were everywhere and it was all Harry could do to stay standing while pleasure was milked from him. The man turned his blue eyes upward and Harry thought he was the most gorgeous creature he had ever seen. He panted, ‘Shall I suck you?’ but got a smirk and Tony raised his hands which were covered in his own spunk. He stood up and there was more kissing, then a shared shower. 

They talked while taking turns under the water. Tony was taller and looked down at Harry with an indulgent air. ‘When did you arrive?’ 

‘Last month.’ 

‘Like it?’ 

Harry grinned broadly. 

  
  


**__________**

When Severus was recovered enough to go to his rooms in the Slytherin dungeons, Poppy said she would accompany him. He didn’t let his annoyance show when she ran diagnostic spells as he took a staircase for the first time in a month. He hoped the spell didn’t pick up on his sudden feeling of lightheadedness.

‘I’ll just stop by the Defence classroom’ he said, affecting nonchalance. 

The detour didn’t take long. The West side of the castle had needed rebuilding over the summer and that included this classroom. It now stood bare, and he imprinted the sight in his memory. During his next few days of convalescence he intended to construct the perfect Defence Against the Dark Arts place of learning in his mind before passing his plans and an expensive supplies list to Minerva. 

No sooner had he returned to his rooms than a memo arrived through the floo from Minerva. It read, _Staff meeting, Great Hall, 9am Monday._

  
  


The next morning at 9am he arrived by floo to the Great Hall, having decided to spare himself stairs for a bit longer. He was surprised to see that a number of small round tables were set up in the centre of the room and this is where staff were seated. Minerva stood speaking with Poppy until she saw that all were assembled. 

‘Thank you all for coming at short notice. Filius and I have a proposal to run by you all. Filius?’ 

Filius Flitwick stood on his chair and addressed them. ‘This year we will be joined by a number of students who will be taking, or in some cases re-taking their seventh years whose education was disrupted by events last year. These are Hermione Granger..’

As the names were listed, Severus noted the gaps of those who were killed. Returning students who were named included those who had been members of the underground resistance that caused so much disruption while he was headmaster, also were those who were muggle-born and therefore not admitted to the school last year, and of course there were Harry Potter and his friends. There were other names missing however. 

‘...and Ronald Weasley.’ Filius concluded.

Severus cleared his throat. He had told Minerva that he would like to remain Head of Slytherin House, and thought it best that he interjected at this point for the benefit of the other teachers. He stood to speak.

‘The current view among senior management is that certain Slytherin House students also had their education disrupted last year, as they were kept busy carrying out...policing duties on behalf of certain then staff members. However, rather than encouraging these students to return to Hogwarts they will be offered alternative one to one tutoring and only rejoin their colleagues for exams.’

The actual view of Severus, Minerva and many Governors was that Hogwarts owed nothing to individuals such as Gregory Goyle and Pansy Parkinson who had used Unforgivable curses on fellow students when prompted to by the Carrows. However a principle of reconciliation was being put into practice by the Ministry of Magic and in that spirit this compromise was made. 

‘And Draco Malfoy?’ The question came from Septima Vector, who had noted the boy’s absence from the list of returning students and correctly surmised that he was a special case.

Minerva answered this one. ‘Draco Malfoy’s name is still under consideration. We will be speaking with him and his mother and consulting others to determine whether his presence in the school will be best for all concerned.’ The Headmistress’s tone was final and no one seemed inclined to disagree. 

Filius spoke again. ‘The returning students, eighth year students if you like, will have the opportunity to attend standard classes alongside the new seventh years, but in addition to or instead of this option, we would like you all to consider also offering an alternative curriculum.’ 

  
  


It turned out that the small tables arrangement was a foretaste of the ‘alternative curriculum’. They were to meet the eighth year students in small groups for seminars where they would experience personal development and pastoral care as well as advanced learning. Severus wasn’t certain why these particular teenagers merited extra demands on the teachers’ time, but he withheld comment. He decided it would be more politic to occasionally mutter about the imposition one to one with colleagues throughout the first term in the hopes that the idea would be abandoned after Christmas. 

As he plotted this plan, the other teachers rose to leave, but before he could join them he was summoned by his current master. ‘Severus, can I have a word please?’ She was approaching him at least, rather than waiting for him to come to her. She joined him at his table and got right down to it. 

‘Draco Malfoy. I assume you are still willing to speak with him and his mother?,

‘Yes, it’s all arranged.’

Minerva nodded. ‘I suggest a crucial factor in the decision will be the testimony of Harry Potter.’ 

Severus blinked. 

‘Although the Order has not yet asked the young people to recount their experiences during the war, I understand from Aberforth that Harry, Hermione Granger and Ronald Weasley were taken by Snatchers to Malfoy Manor. It is likely that Draco was present, so we should find out…’

‘-Quite.’ He acknowledged the implications. 

‘Yes. I understand that the three of them are currently taking a break in Australia, but Potter is due back this week.’ 

Minerva left a pause for Severus to take the bait. When he was clearly going to refuse to, she tried a different tack. ‘Potter has been asking to see you.’

Severus raised his eyebrows. ‘To what purpose?’ 

She pursed her lips and looked over her glasses. ‘Oh come now, Severus. Let him do whatever he needs to do and move on.’ 

  
  


He regretted her choice of words. They kept coming back into his head over the following days until finally he was interrupted by a knock on the door of his classroom. 

‘Enter.’

‘Sir, it’s Harry Potter.’ He pushed open the door with caution, Severus thought, _or it may be deference at last_. 

‘Yes Potter, thank you for coming here. As you can see there is a great deal of work to do before the beginning of term.’ _And I wasn’t going to be inconvenienced any more than absolutely necessary._ He considered carrying on cataloguing dark objects for his lessons while they spoke, but upon noticing the new curse scar on the boy’s face he resigned himself to treating Harry with some respect after all. 

‘I was just about to get coffee sent up. Can I offer you something?’

Harry’s tone of deference continued. _Interesting_ , Severus thought. 

‘Thank you, coffee would be great.’ 

Severus gave a single tap with his wand on the top of a desk and spoke his order aloud. It appeared in a few seconds. Feeling a bit smug to see that the student was impressed by this particular privilege afforded to Hogwarts teachers, he signalled towards a chair with an open hand. They both sat down and helped themselves to their drinks. 

Severus froze for a moment when he spotted the cauldron cakes that had come up with the tea tray. His ‘Oh-’ of surprise and disapproval was swallowed, but he saw that Harry had the grace to look abashed. Each cauldron cake bore the words, ‘Welcome back, Harry Potter’. 

Having also seen the message, Harry didn’t look happy. He took a cake and ate it while tilting the words away from his companion. 

‘So,’ Severus began, ‘I understand I have you to thank for the fact that my colleagues did not immediately summon the Aurors on me.’ 

Minerva clarified this on her first visit to him in the Hospital Wing. Soon after the battle, when the names of the dead were being collected, he had ensured that Severus Snape was counted among the Order members. When he pressed for further details from Minerva, Severus discovered that Harry Potter’s word alone was enough to establish his honour and that his memories had not been shared with all and sundry and for this he was particularly grateful. 

The thanks took Harry by surprise and he only nodded. 

‘Thank you.’ Severus hoped that this was finally the end of all their debts to each other. 

‘Oh!’ Harry seemed to remember something and patted the pockets of his jacket until finding what he was looking for and handing it over. ‘Your memories, sir.’ 

Severus almost smiled. 


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Harry visits Severus at Hogwarts before the start of term.

Severus reached out a hand and Harry placed the vial of memories into his palm. Curling his fingers around its cold glass, he cleared his throat.

‘Kingsley tells me that your intervention also prevented my being charged with the murder of the Headmaster. Boy saviour though you were, and Minister of Magic that he now is, I’m still perplexed how this was possible.’

He watched the boy’s face carefully as a crestfallen expression came over him and he looked down. ‘I’m sorry sir, I wanted to keep your memories private, but to get the posthumous pardon, I did have to show Professor Dumbledore giving you the order to kill him. I also showed you discussing the curse from the ring.’

After a moment waiting for more explanation that did not come, Severus asked, ‘Only that?’

Harry met his eyes again. ‘I only showed my own memories of those incidents. That way I could limit what was shared.’

He seemed to expect that his former teacher would be angry, and Severus decided to assuage his anxiety. ‘That’s fine, Potter. I’m grateful. But…”posthumous”?’

His jaw setting in anger, Harry explained. ‘I have learned how crucial timing is in establishing what becomes the official story. The Wizengamot was holding an emergency session anyway, so I...I got it on the agenda. Just after the decision was made I came here to speak with Professor McGonagall and she told me you had been found alive.’

‘I was told you wanted to see me.’ Severus’ tone was clear that though he wasn’t insistent, he did want to know why. ‘Did you have some message for me?’

The question took Harry aback. ‘Oh, no, no message…’ He looked to the side as if trying to recall something. When he looked back, his face was open. ‘I think I wanted to see for myself that you were ok. And to tell you how grateful we are - ‘

Now it was Severus’s turn to be taken aback. ‘Potter-’

‘Sir, you sacrificed your life.’

‘As did you.’ Severus shot back.

They gave each other a level look.

‘You were dead then? I didn’t leave you only hurt?’ Harry’s voice cracked on the question.

Severus was about to reply in the affirmative, but stopped himself and instead stood up and went to the window, raising it with a spell and hoping it wasn’t obvious that he needed some air. Inside, he was all turmoil. His recollections were dream-like, but in the days since Aberforth found him he hadn’t questioned that they were real. If he had really met those witches at the foot of Pendle Hill, and really had come back from the dead, instead of simply losing consciousness and dreaming...  
‘Can I ask Potter, how did you return from death?’ He turned his face back toward the boy’s and was surprised to see a small smile.

‘The Resurrection Stone - the Deathly Hallow. Dumbledore left it me in his will. But I didn’t come back straightaway. I met Dumbledore in a place that looked like King’s Cross Station. And the last bit of Voldemort’s soul was there - the bit that was in me.’

‘Albus was there?’

Harry nodded, still smiling. ‘He said I could choose to go back or to go on.’

Severus swayed, putting a hand on the window ledge to steady himself. ‘What were his actual words?’

Hesitating, Harry answered. ‘I asked him if I got on a train where the train would take me and he said, “On”. Is that important?’

They had been through the same experience, or had remarkably similar dreams. Severus’ throat was dry. ‘Were you given reasons for choosing one or the other?’

‘Not for taking a train, but the battle was still going on and people needed help.’ Came the answer.

Not quite the same experience then. ‘I met three witches who also gave me a choice.’ He couldn’t think of any reason to share this with Harry Potter other than to reassure the boy that he was right to leave behind his body.

‘Maybe we both had unfinished business.’ Harry suggested.

‘That’s as good an explanation as any.’ Severus gathered himself and came to sit behind his desk. Now, Potter we have two main items of business for this meeting and I’ll get the easy one out of the way first.’

Harry sat up straighter in his chair and Severus continued.

‘I believe you have been informed about the opportunities for additional tutorials when term begins.’ It was a statement rather than a question.

Harry’s jaw tightened slightly. ‘Yes, sir.’

‘You don’t seem pleased.’ Another statement.

‘My friends and I don’t want special treatment.’

‘And yet your school has decided to provide it.’ Severus was angry now, his voice becoming dangerous. ‘Have you considered that your teachers may know better than you what will enable you to complete your studies successfully?’

His shoulders dropping, Harry scowled briefly before realising that he was probably coming across like an ungrateful brat and sat up straight again. ‘Yes of course. It is a good opportunity for us.’

He didn’t sound convincing, but made the right noises. Severus leaned back in his chair and crossed his arms. ‘I don’t think you realise how much. Your cohort will in all likelihood leave Hogwarts with enhanced knowledge across the curriculum as well as in a range of skills you will use in your work and personal lives. Having regular conversations with educated adults will make you more rounded as people, better communicators, better thinkers, more effective in anything you turn your minds to.’

Harry felt he was being patronised, though he could tell the Potions Master was being sincere and was in all probability speaking the truth. His mutinous feelings got the better of him. ‘Only if those adults want to have conversations with me.’

Severus tilted his head slightly and placed one hand flat on his desk. ‘What are you trying to say, Potter?’

Harry looked at his teacher in the face again, chin slightly raised.

‘Ah,’ Severus said and pursed his lips. ‘You’re imagining that tutorials with me will be characterised by the same level of enmity as -’

‘-Every other time you were supposed to teach me and ended up shouting at me instead.’

‘-Sir.’

‘Sir.’ Harry huffed.

The fingers that rested on the teacher’s desk began drumming. Severus inhaled, exhaled and made a pronouncement. ‘Well, that gives us somewhere to start. You and I will not meet in small groups but one to one, and we will work out our differences. Truth and reconciliation, in the spirit of the wider process being carried out in our world.’ He left a gap of silence for the student’s response.

Harry’s eyes widened and moved from side to side while Severus resisted commenting on how ostentatious the boy’s thinking process was. Finally, Harry nodded.

‘Okay.’

‘You agree.’

‘Yes sir.’

‘Wednesdays at 3.30. You’ll meet me here.’

Harry didn’t know what his schedule was yet so couldn’t disagree. ‘Okay.’

When he could see that thanks wasn’t forthcoming for sacrificing his afternoon break, Severus moved on.  
‘The other reason I needed to see you is to do with Draco Malfoy. Have you seen him since he left Hogwarts on the second of May?’

Harry thought that he had done well remembering to say ‘sir’ so far in the conversation. He suspected this conversation might be Order of the Phoenix business rather than school business so he risked dropping the honorific. ‘No.’

Severus thought it likely that he was expected to collect objective data about Draco Malfoy’s actions and inactions over the previous year. Instead, he had decided to outright ask for Harry’s own views. If they made the wrong decision, the mistake would then be shared by Harry and he would know it and would take actions to mitigate it - watching Draco more closely, for example if he were permitted to return to Hogwarts.

‘Do you consider Malfoy would be a danger to the school if he were readmitted in the Autumn?’

‘He’s being allowed back in?’ Harry looked stunned, but with surprise rather than disapproval.

‘It is under consideration. If he is considered a danger to anyone here, he certainly will not be. What is your gut feeling?’

‘I don’t want him back. I don’t think he can help being a bully.’

‘Beyond that?’ Severus pressed further.

Harry frowned at him. ‘Maybe bullying is ok in Slytherin House, but I don’t think it belongs in a school.’

‘Your opinion has been noted, Potter. If you can draw a line under schoolyard conflicts for a moment, do you have reason to believe that Malfoy is irredeemably Dark?’

‘Don’t you have potions to find out that sort of thing?’

‘Yes, but someone can honestly say one day that they renounce the Death Eaters and the next day harass someone for being muggleborn. What school management needs to determine is, when under pressure, which way does Malfoy fall?’

Harry cleared his throat and hunched over, his ankles crossed and his fingers gripping the edge of his chair. He began to recall memories that seemed to cause him pain. ‘He didn’t kill Dumbledore. Or couldn’t.’

Severus kept his eyes focussed on Harry as he continued.

‘We were caught by Snatchers and taken to Malfoy’s house. Hermione had changed my face and he was the only one there who could recognise us. He didn’t give us away.’

This was exactly what Severus was waiting for. ‘Do you know why?’

Harry shook his head. ‘I thought at the time that he didn’t want to put us in danger. He seemed as scared as we were.’

‘Anything else?’

‘He stopped Vincent Crabbe from killing me during the battle. But that might have only been because Voldemort wanted me alive. We saved his life twice that night, so we’re probably even in terms of life debts.’

Severus waited. Harry stared in the distance while occasionally shifting his feet beneath his chair. When he stopped shifting and sat up straight, he was frowning.

‘Malfoy’s mother - I guess I owe her a life debt. She lied to Voldemort and said that I was dead.’

This was news to Severus. He raised his eyebrows and thought back to his recent conversation with Narcissa. It was like her to not share this information. He doubted she had mentioned this to anyone including her son.

‘That will have no bearing on the school’s decision. If you’re anxious that Draco would hold that over you -’

‘-No, I’m not worried about that. I won’t stop him coming back. I don’t want to see him again, but I don’t think he’s going to be letting Death Eaters into the school again.’

Harry’s attempt at levity failed. Both of them were put in mind of the last time they were face to face on the night of Dumbledore’s death. Severus filed away the need to resolve the happenings of that night between them as well.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Severus replaces his memories, gets recruited to a research project by Poppy and gets ready for a night out but first has an important meeting at the Hog's Head.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Two chapters in one day. The cold kept me from doing much else even though the sun was out on this fine January day. I hadn't set out meaning to go into so much detail in this story, but spending time with Snape is so compelling. 
> 
> There will be sex in the chapter after this one.

Severus restored his memories the moment Harry Potter left. When the boy had closed the door behind him, Severus strode purposefully to his desk and removed the top from the vial, dropping it onto a pile of fresh parchment. Though his movements weren’t hurried, he took the entirety of the vial’s contents onto the tip of his wand. There was no ceremony in it, he just wanted it done then to return to assembling his classroom. 

The effects of the restoration began with a dull throb at his temple as the strands of memory sank in. He next felt a heaviness that moved across his forehead and on, filling his head, and pressing against the back of his eyes. He couldn’t stop a small groan as he accepted that he had to lie down at once. Taking a piece of fresh parchment from the pile on his desk, he flung it to the floor and as it fell it was transformed into a thick woolen blanket. Breathing deeply and pressing the heels of his hands onto his eyes, he knelt, then dropped forward onto the blanket with a deep moan. 

It came to him that this was not a known side effect of memory restoration, and that it may well be the nature of this particular group of memories that were causing the pain. As his awareness moved from the throbbing in his head downwards he became aware of a hollowness in his stomach. He couldn’t stop himself sobbing on an exhale. Breathing deeply a few times gave him enough presence of mind to wonder if a potion would stop the various aches in his body. After running through some options, he settled on Deep Calm Draught and summoned a house elf to bring it from his personal stores. 

She was a young elf with large eyes that registered concern when she handed the draught to him. 

‘Thank you.’ He breathed and drank the potion, still lying on his front and massaging a temple with one hand. 

The elf stood over him and spoke in a voice not much more than a squeak. ‘Can Wiggy fetch someone to help Professor Snape?’ 

Potion drunk, he rested his forehead on his arms and spoke into the floor, ‘No thank you Wiggy, you can go.’ 

‘Madame Pomfrey is in the Castle today. It would be no trouble for Wiggy to bring her.’ 

It was unusual for a Hogwarts elf to be so insistent and it gave him enough of a pause to realise that a pillow would be helpful. Wiggy provided this with a snap of her fingers and left him though not without a look of regret and worry in her large eyes. 

Severus squeezed the pillow to his chest and breathed through his pain for a few minutes more until the potion worked the pain from his body and drifted him to sleep. 

  
  


‘Severus what on earth?’ Poppy’s voice woke him. 

He groaned and stretched, not yet opening his eyes. He made it clear in his tone and body language that his visitor was not particularly welcome. ‘Poppy how can I help you?’ 

The Healer tutted as she ran a diagnostic spell over him. 

‘Will I live?’ He opened his eyes to look up at her from the floor. 

‘DId you hit your head?’ She put her wand away, having decided there was nothing serious going on. 

Severus began standing up and gave a nonchalant answer. ‘I merely replaced some memories and the next thing I knew I had a migraine.’ Yawning, he transformed the blanket back to parchment. 

Poppy raised her eyebrows. ‘Was it a lifetime’s worth of memories?’ 

He looked at her, then away again. ‘...Ah…Well, it’s done now. Did you seek me out for any particular reason?’ 

Now the Healer’s shoulders dropped and she gave a small frown. ‘Actually yes, shall we sit down?’

Severus groaned inwardly. ‘I’m sorry I asked. Tea?’ He tapped his desk as Poppy transformed a wooden chair into an ottoman and sat down. He raised an eyebrow at her choice of seating but said nothing. 

Poppy took a cup of tea when a tray appeared and acknowledged it with a small nod. ‘We’ve rarely spoken about our respective past involvement with the Dark Side.’ 

He inhaled and shook his head slightly. ‘If that’s where we’re going I might need something stronger.’ He again tapped his desk and a double espresso appeared, accompanied by a tiny pink macaron. Removing the tiny cup from his saucer, he pushed the dish with the biscuit towards Poppy. She hesitated for a moment before taking the macaron and popping it into her mouth. 

‘We don’t have to speak about it.’ 

Taking a sip and leaning back in his chair, he appraised her. ‘No, you’ve piqued my interest now. I wonder if you’re going to tell me that you’ve been a double agent all this time as well.’ 

‘No it’s no more than you already know. I moved in some anti-muggle circles in the ‘70s but certainly never met Riddle himself. The reason I bring it up is this.’ Poppy pulled a small object from a pocket, dropped it onto Severus’ desk and enlarged it. 

‘ _ The Journal of Wizarding Society.’  _ Having read the title of the publication aloud, he picked it up and opened to the contents page, expecting perhaps to see an article about Voldemort listed. 

‘On the back page.’ She directed. 

He turned to the back and read. 

_ Call for papers: The Autumn 1999 issue of the Journal of Wizarding Society will focus on the phenomenon of mass movements of Dark witches and wizards. Topics and questions can pertain to:  _

_ Dark wizards and magical purity _

_ Dark wizards and state power _

_ Dark wizards and magical schools _

_ Problems in defining Dark wizards _

_ Class and Dark magic _

_ Gender and Dark magic _

_ The Dark Arts and Dark ideology _

_ How Dark wizards gain followers... _

As he read, Severus found his pulse racing and his breathing becoming shallow. As his mind grabbed onto each concept, the depth and breadth of the topics appeared planet-sized in his mind. He could easily lose himself for hours at a time thinking through any one of them based on his personal experience and reflections. During many long nights in the presence of Death Eaters he had, of course, followed various lines of thought that no doubt would be pursued by the researchers who contributed to this journal. It appealed to him now that he might write down some of his thoughts, but he knew he needed some space away from his memories and the implications of the horrors he had witnessed since he was a teenager. 

Poppy may have sensed he had read enough to get the gist. ‘One of the topics - on Dark wizards and their followers - that is being researched by Ben Vance.’ 

Severus looked up sharply, then swallowed and gathered himself. He cleared his throat. ‘Em’s little brother?’ 

‘Yes. He’s an academic now. At the College of Magic in Inverness.’

He nodded his head and waited for her to continue while steadying his breathing. 

‘Ben and I have a family connection. He’s married to my niece Lucy. We spoke at a family event over the summer and he’s collecting a focus group to help advise the direction of his research. He wondered if I might suggest someone.’ She smirked at this point. ‘It seems one of the people he particularly had in mind is Harry Potter. He didn’t seem to think there was a chance he might be able to find a former follower of You Know Who to be involved.’ She paused. 

Severus shared her doubt about the value Harry Potter might contribute to such a project. He himself, however… ‘I’ll think about it. Thank you for letting me know. It is an interesting project.’ He put just enough politeness in the finality of his statement for Poppy to take the hint that the discussion was over for now. 

‘Right.’ She said, getting to her feet and smoothing down her skirt. ‘You’re welcome to hold on to that.’ She indicated the journal. 

He stood as well. ‘Thank you, I will actually.’ 

‘There’s an outing to the Three Broomsticks tonight...’

Shaking his head, he managed to sound apologetic. ‘Not tonight, thanks. I have plans.’ 

  
  
  


It was his last chance before term started to get out for some recreation. It was also his first chance in well over a year for the recreation he had in mind. Two shirts lay on his bed, and as he hovered over them he caught himself in a mirror. He stopped, straightened and pushed back his shoulders.  _ Nearly forty now. Maybe it’s time to make a bit of an effort.  _

In that spirit, he transfigured some shoes into weights, did some weightlifting and then summoned an elf to cut his hair. It was Wiggy again.

‘Professor Snape could make his hair short.’ 

‘As I said, Wiggy. Just a bit off.’ 

She frowned but got to work. 

He’d never been given advice by any other elf at Hogwarts and was curious that this one seemed to make a habit of it. ‘Why would I cut my hair short, Wiggy?’

She stood back and looked at her handiwork with a neutral expression before turning her large eyes to his. ‘If Professor Snape had his hair very short, it wouldn’t look so dirty and greasy.’ 

His jaw dropped. ‘Oh for Merlins - are you finished now?’ 

The elf disappeared her comb and scissors. ‘Yes, the haircut is finished.’ 

Standing up and feeling a blush come to his face he barked at her. ‘That’ll be all, thank you.’ 

Wiggy’s expression remained neutral and she popped out of the room. 

During his shower he washed his hair twice, muttering to himself. 

The shirt he chose was a black Fred Perry with short sleeves. Though he had decided to start working more on his muscles, he reckoned that for now he did fill the shirt well enough. His jeans were also black. He thought back to the last time he visited Canal Street two years ago and decided canvas trainers would get him to where he was going. When he got there, he would hang back for a bit and change the fit of his jeans and colour of his trainers once he saw what others were wearing. He knew he was likely to be the only man without short hair, but the only concession he would make to that was to tie it back. 

Severus both hated the shallowness of the gay scene and appreciated the straightforwardness of judgment by appearance. He knew that if his arse looked good in his jeans, he’d get off with someone in pretty short order and that was his main concern. 

Heading out of his bedroom he stopped and swore, realising he had forgotten a concealment potion. Then he stopped dead. He raised his bare forearm. When he found himself alive and in the hospital wing, He had been tentative in checking at first, slowly bringing his arm out from under the bed covers. Poppy came in a few moments later to find him holding it directly in front of his eyes. 

‘I can find no sign of it ever being there.’ She said matter-of-factly. 

‘I didn’t expect it to go, much less go completely.’ His voice faltered slightly, leading him to clear his throat and put his arm firmly back under the covers. 

‘Harry Potter is a miracle worker. He still has his scar though.’ 

  
  


Severus smiled now. No concealment potion would be needed ever again. Tonight he was more free than he had ever been in his life. Free of parents, Voldemort, most of his enemies, most of his former responsibilities, most of his life debts and it wasn’t even term-time. An erotic thrill went through him at the prospect of what lay ahead. He strode to his fireplace and grabbed a handful of floo powder. 

Hogwarts staff had one approved way of flooing out of the school. Each of their home quarters was connected to a sealed room in the North Tower that was used only for this purpose. One of the portraits in the room was of Helena Hufflepuff, and she enjoyed looking after the staff’s comings and goings. 

‘Severus! How is non-headmaster life?’ 

The question was jocular. Hufflepuff had been one of the portraits that voted for him to remain Headmaster. Even so, Severus wasn’t keen on a lengthy conversation so his answer was sarcastic. 

‘Blissful. I may not be back until tomorrow. Goodnight Helena.’ 

‘Goodnight Severus.’ he heard as the floo swept him away. 

The final connection in the staff floo system was the cellar of the Hog’s Head Inn. On this occasion, Severus arrived to find Aberforth changing a beer barrel. The landlord was abrupt as usual.

‘Severus.’ 

‘Aberforth.’ 

‘Will you stay for a drink?’

It only took a moment for Severus to decide there was no reason not to. ‘Thank you, I will.’

Entering the bar, Severus saw two small cloaked figures in a snug. 

‘We’re closed. Out!’ Aberforth barked at them and they cowered and ran out. The slam of the door was followed by the clunk of its locks sliding closed. ‘Firewhiskey?’ He asked. 

It was Severus’ usual. ‘Please.’ 

Aberforth joined him. Severus took a sip and put the glass down. ‘I’m recovered now, as well as I can be. Thanks again.’ 

Aberforth nodded in acknowledgement. There had been a quiet gathering of the Order in July where Severus had thanked him more formally. Both men knew what was required in war, and both knew the value of life. 

Severus finished the drink but held onto the glass. ‘It’s not comfortable owing a life debt to someone whose brother one has murdered.’ He couldn’t have said it without the drink, and he kept his eyes averted to the glass. 

Albus Dumbledore’s brother tipped the bottle of whisky and Severus held out the glass, accepting another dram. 

‘Harry Potter once told me that he killed Albus.’ 

Now Severus raised his eyes to Aberforth’s. ‘Why on earth would he say that?’ 

‘He said they were hunting horcruxes together. I hadn’t known he was up to something like that of course. Harry told me they were in a cave with a potion that had to be drunk to reach the horcrux and Harry gave the potion to Albus to drink. Forced him to drink it, according to Harry. He believed the potion made Albus too weak to fight you. Later he explained that Albus had asked you to kill him- some kind of arrangement. I can’t imagine why he would do such a thing though. Unless it was something to do with that wand.’

Severus nodded. ‘It’s more complicated even than that. Shall I tell you?’

Aberforth didn’t answer, but only looked solemn. 

‘There was a previous horcrux. A ring from Voldemort’s family. Albus destroyed it, but not before receiving a curse from it.’

‘It was a Deathly Hallow.’ Aberforth’s disapproval was clear. Severus couldn’t deny that Albus’s judgement in trying to take possession of the Resurrection Stone before destroying the horcrux had been poor, so he didn’t try to deny it. 

‘He would have been dead within weeks. So, curse, potion, and my Unforgivable. And the need for someone other than the Dark Lord to win the Elder Wand from him.’ The drink was making him lightheaded. He took another sip. 

‘Why you?’ 

‘It was either myself, or Draco Malfoy, a student. He had been assigned the task by the Dark Lord, and Albus wanted to preserve the boy’s soul.’

‘Albus was a bastard.’

Severus let go a breath he didn’t know he was holding. ‘Aberforth, I’m so sorry. I’m sorry for your loss. I’m sorry for my part in it.’ 


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Severus goes looking for sex in Glasgow. Original male Muggle character alert.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This has turned out more schmoopy than I might have liked, but it's all to a purpose.

By the time Severus left the Hog’s Head Inn, it was gone 10pm and it seemed to him he'd reached the perfect time and the perfect level of inebriation for a hookup. The sombre conversation with Aberforth had however left him unwilling to face a hectic night out in Brighton, London or Manchester, so he settled on Glasgow.

Apparating near the north end of Kelvingrove Park meant he could do some casual cruising, which he did just for fun. Outdoor sex wasn’t what he was after, though it gave him a boost to see men checking him out and to hear the occasional whisper come his way. He felt his gait change from the purposeful way he stalked his workplace to something more casual. The park was busy. When he passed a particularly dark spot he made quick adjustments to the fit of his jeans and changed the colour of his canvas trainers to a pale red. He mused that it was spying that made him see the need for such fine tuning and that it might be preferable if he could become less self-conscious. 

He made his way down Argyle Street taking in the lights and noises and people. He didn’t want to live in a city this size, but the occasional visit brought him out of himself. He loved the anonymity of a large Muggle city, and the knowledge that any dangers he faced here were easily dealt with using magic. When he passed an empty shopfront that was covered in posters for a Jimmy Somerville single and with graffiti reading ‘Fuck Section 28’, his lips quirked. These signifiers were always reassuring on the rare occasions he got a chance to seek out other men. 

Severus stopped at the first gay bar he came to. It was large and not quite packed and the crowd was mixed. If it had been full of undergraduates, he would have moved on. A 6-foot 6-inches in heels drag queen was part of the small group of bouncers at the entrance. She nodded him through and he nodded back. Entering slowly and hovering just inside the entrance meant he gave any door-watchers a chance to check him out before he got lost in the crowd. He knew he wasn’t most men’s type, so any attention drawn was helpful in his goal of trapping off quickly. As it happened, tonight he was lucky. 

Approaching the bar, he saw that he had caught the eye of a man who stood there waiting for his order. 

‘Hiya.’ 

‘Hiya.’ 

‘Get you a drink?’ 

_To the point, good._ Severus thought. ‘Thanks, half a cider.’ He didn’t want to get much more inebriated. 

The man caught the eye of the barman. ‘Paul, half a cider too, pet.’ 

Severus relaxed against the bar. The man was taller than him, maybe ten years older, black, shaved, and clearly looked after himself with a good medium build under his tight-fitting jeans and t-shirt. Severus couldn’t believe his luck so early after arriving. The man introduced himself as Karl and his voice indicated he was from the Northeast. Severus introduced himself as Steven.

They took their drinks outside where it was easier to talk. Small talk, Muggle talk that drove thoughts of the last few years from his mind. Severus liked men his age or older. The conversations were better and they knew what they wanted and paid for their own drinks and condoms. 

‘I come to Glasgow for the weekend once a month. Friend of mine has a flat he lets me use when he’s away. My partner and I have this deal - hookups happen out of town. So I come to Glasgow and he goes to Manchester. Apart from anything else it means not running into men from work in awkward situations.’

‘Is there a scene in Newcastle?’ Severus asked, guessing where Karl and his partner lived.

‘Oh you know, university town. So, what are you into? I’d like to fuck you, Steven, but I’m getting top vibes off you.’ 

‘Usually, yeah. But you can convince me.’ Something about Karl was making Severus feel both safe and adventurous. He leaned in for a kiss that he felt as a jolt from the soles of his feet to his balls. It had been a long time. When they pulled apart, Severus finished his drink and put the glass down on the pub’s window ledge. ‘Have you got condoms?’ 

The flat was close by, and Severus was on his way back to Hogwarts two hours later. He apparated to the school gates and walked in the mist, his way lit by a full moon. The session had put a smile on his face and all felt right with the world. In his quarters, he went to bed without showering, wanting to fall asleep to the scent of the man who had given him such a good night. Karl took control, even picking him up to bodily to put him on the bed. Severus thought he had probably felt the man’s lips on 90% of his body by the end of the night. Karl prepared his arse with his tongue, fucked him into the bed from behind while Severus moaned through the nonstop thrusts against his prostate. The man from Newcastle was passionate, but conscientious. He pulled out and rolled Severus over. 

‘Alright?’ Karl panted. 

‘Yeah.’ Severus breathed. 

‘Want to go on top?’ 

He barely registered the words and would agree to anything at this point. ‘Sure.’ 

Karl took a gulp of water from a bottle by the bed and offered it to Severus who also took a drink before straddling Karl and lowering himself onto the man’s cock. 

Severus was gratified by the quiet moan and the look of awe his actions produced in the other man. Karl pulled him down for a deep kiss that carried on as he thrust upward. 

_Yes_ , Severus thought as he put out his bedroom lights with a wave of his hand, _it was a good night._

He squeezed a pillow to his chest as he relaxed onto his bed. Smiling, he remembered Karl pulling him into a hug afterwards when their breathing had settled. 

‘Was that alright?’ Karl asked. 

‘You can top me anytime, pet.’ He replied in an attempt at a Geordie accent that led the other man to laugh and lightly smack his arse. 

‘I enjoyed it too. I thought you needed taking care of.’ 

  
Severus didn’t answer apart from smiling and squeezing his arms tighter around Karl. He almost said aloud, _your boyfriend is a lucky man._


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Harry comes for his first seminar with Severus, and Severus remembers a previous relationship.

_ Harry Bloody Potter,  _ Severus thought, glaring down at the assembly that to him consisted of wet-nosed brats and stinking adolescents. That particular adolescent he had spotted giving him a small smile. What business Harry Potter had smiling at him he didn’t know. Reaching out for the glass in front of him, the memory returned to him of his recent meeting with the boy in his classroom. At the time, he hadn’t yet restored his memories and the conversation had been fairly lacking in antagonism. Taking a sip and putting the glass down again, he marvelled at how completely the reactionary dislike of the boy had returned once all those negative associations had been put back in his head where they belonged. The dislike was a hard lump in his stomach and he didn’t like feeling it again. 

Consequently, at 3.20 on Wednesday afternoon, Severus was standing over a pensive and twirling his wand in his fingers. For two days he had wondered which particular memories had to be removed to enable him to be in Potter’s presence without being overwhelmed by fury. His contemplation broke when his fingers fumbled his wand which nearly fell to the floor. Hissing, he waved the pensive away into a cupboard. He was an adult, had survived a war and was a powerful wizard. He would control his feelings by force of will. If not that, he would resort to emergency back up. 

_ Lily, I will be kind to your son for your sake.  _

His shoulders tightened at the knock on his door, and he took a deep breath, and then another before letting the boy come in. 

Harry was red-cheeked and his hair was a mess. The unbidden memory came to Severus of James Potter deliberately making himself look wind-blown. 

‘Have you been flying?’ He sneered at the student.

‘Yes sir. Quidditch practice.’ 

Severus could find nothing to criticise in that and he knew it was likely the student had cut short the practice to make this appointment.  _ One point to me for spoiling Potter’s fun. _

‘Sit.’

Harry did.

‘Are you Seeker this year?’

‘Yeah, for now. I might take the reserve slot so I can focus on my studies.’ 

Taking a chair opposite, Severus tilted his head just enough to express disbelief. Harry frowned at that.  _ Another point to me _ , Severus thought.

‘Actually sir, if this is the place for it, I wanted to ask you about university.’

Severus schooled himself to a neutral expression. ‘What about university.’

‘I’d like to find out what my options might be if I want to continue my studies.’ 

‘At a wizarding university?’

‘Well, yes.’ 

‘I understand that your friend Miss Granger is considering Muggle higher education.’ 

Harry shrugged. ‘She doesn’t mind spending time in Muggle society.’ 

Severus waited and Harry hunched his shoulders momentarily before sitting up straight again. He was self-conscious about what he wanted to say, but he did want to say it.

‘I want to make wizarding society better. I mean, I want it to be better, fundamentally better, and I’d rather be involved than not.’ 

‘And university seems the best route because?’

‘It’s something we’ve been talking about - with my friends - we can see things that are wrong with wizarding society but not what to do about it. I don’t just want to go work in the Ministry or something and help things keep ticking over like they are now.’

_ Let’s test this resolve by throwing you in at the deep end,  _ Severus thought. He reached over to his desk and picked up a book. 

‘Are you interested in being research?’ He was gratified to see that the question surprised the student, though it was only mild surprise. 

‘Yeah. I mean, that’s what I’d expect to do at university. But yes.’ Harry caught the book his teacher had tossed his way. 

‘It’s an academic journal produced by the Inverness College of Magic.’

Harry looked up in recognition at the name. 

‘If you are serious about scholarship you should of course consider Inverness. A few Hogwarts leavers go on to study there each year. Bring the journal back to me next Wednesday. Severus stood up and moved around to the other side of his desk, hoping to indicate with his body language that they were done for the day. 

‘What if I want to be a teacher? Sir.’ Harry stayed seated and his voice had an almost pleading edge to it. The question was genuine. 

Keeping his eyes on his desk and trying to look as if his mind was elsewhere, Severus tried to keep testiness out of his voice. ‘Inverness is as good as anywhere, though of course it depends on the area of teaching that interests you. Here.’ Severus made a motion in the air with his wand and a piece of parchment appeared in front of Harry. As it fell into his hand, words appeared. 

_ Morgana Fisher, Registrar, Inverness College of Magic.  _

‘If you owl her, she will tell you all you need to know.’ 

Harry squeezed the paper between his thumb and forefinger. Having entered this room with only vague ideas about his options, he now felt as though he was holding the key to his future. He stood up and it seemed to him that his body had become lighter. 

‘Should I ask her anything in particular? Or tell her?’ 

Now Severus stopped pretending to be distracted and looked up. ‘Be honest with her. If you know what you want from higher education then tell her. She can only advise you based on what that is.’ 

Harry was both taken aback and thrilled by the practicality and helpfulness of the answer. He decided to make a quick exit before the old Snape reappeared and he headed for the door with a breathless, ‘Thank you, sir.’

Severus waved him out while turning his eyes back to his desk. He took a seat and leaned forward, steepling his fingers and gazing at them. He thought back over the conversation he had just had and wondered at what point he had avoided losing his temper. An image of Lily came to him as he had never seen her in person - the wedding photo used in The Prophet after she was murdered. Suddenly he felt very lonely. 

  
  


On Thursday morning Severus awoke in a good mood. The Sex Talk only happened once per year and the opportunities for humiliating the students delighted him. He almost bounced on his heels as the 7th and 8th year students filed into the Potions classroom. Many faces registered shock. The others had been told what to expect by previous 7th years. 

At the front of the room Poppy, Severus and Horace Slughorn stood in expectant waiting. Slughorn began the lesson. 

‘Good afternoon everyone. I’m sure you’ll welcome our guests for today. Our next few lessons will be a series of potions that will require support from Madame Pomfrey and Professor Snape. I believe Professor you will introduce the topic?’

Horace Slughorn was an old-fashioned wizard. One of the reasons he originally left Hogwarts was a disagreement with Professor Dumbledore on the teaching of contraceptive and pregnancy termination potions. It was a longstanding belief in the Wizarding World that witches and wizards should procreate as much as possible, and this view was deep seated among older generations. 

Severus however, had no such qualms. 

‘Your families expect that Hogwarts will keep you safe from diseases and unwanted pregnancies, consequently, it is policy that 7th years are taught certain spells as well as how to make a range of potions.’ Severus swept his wand through the air in the direction of the board behind him where the names of seven potions appeared. ‘Madame Pomfrey will answer your questions. No doubt you have one, Miss Granger.’ 

Hermione stopped just as she was beginning to raise her hand and her face reddened. ‘Is there a cure for HIV or AIDS?’

A Muggleborn asked this every year, and as was his habit he observed the reactions to the question and the answer provided by Poppy, who stepped forward.

‘Excellent question’, the Healer said to the room at large. ‘Let me reassure you all that any cures developed in the Wizarding World are passed on to the Muggle World. Unfortunately, though treatments are being improved all the time, there is not yet an outright cure. There are however barrier spells you will learn that can be used by women and men including men who have sex with men.’

There were some smirks, and some embarrassed giggles from the less mature students. The real interest for Severus was spotting the body language as Poppy spoke. Blaise Zabini became unusually still, and Harry Potter froze outright - only his eyes darting from side to side. Severus’ gaydar had picked up Blaise years before, but Harry Potter was a surprise.

The questions & answers continued for the rest of the session until the final five minutes when Horace presented the schedule - Poppy and Severus would teach pregnancy-related potions and Poppy and Horace would teach STD-related potions. The Potions Masters would be there for the practical aspects of the lessons and the Healer for the health-related questions. On their way out, there were ironic murmurings among the students about possible prizes from Slughorn for the best result. 

‘That went rather well I thought.’ Horace said in his usual upbeat manner. 

Severus was disappointed that the lesson had turned out rather dull. The questions were sensible, teasing and shouting non-existent, and he missed the tumult that existed when a larger proportion of the class were Slytherins. 

  
  


On Friday morning Severus woke feeling unaccountably sad. His left forearm was stretched before him. He didn’t know what brought a memory of Emmeline Vance on that particular morning. Against his better judgement he let the scene play out in his mind of her lying on his arm, facing away from him and stroking his palm. 

‘Em, you know, I could never be a father.’ 

She stiffened, but continued to stroke his palm. ‘You don’t want children?’ She asked as if the question were casual.

He didn’t want to discuss it. She wouldn’t try to convince him he was wrong to believe he would be a terrible father, or to convince him that he might want children one day, or to convince him that he might  _ not _ die when Voldemort returned. But she would be thinking all those things. She couldn’t know that he had sworn to a dead woman that he would devote his life to protecting her child. He was conscious that that child would be starting at Hogwarts in a few months. Having children of his own was out of the question. He wouldn’t give her any of these reasons though. He wanted to keep it simple. 

‘I’m sorry. I know it’s important to you.’ 

  
  


They didn’t discuss children again. She visited him less and he visited her less until the visits stopped. Her next birthday card to him was impersonal and sent by owl instead of given in person. He missed spending the holidays in the glorious hilltop home she had built herself in Bristol. He missed the sex and having someone to share his life with. By the time he was informed of her murder he had schooled himself against feeling to the extent that he only felt anger and given the circumstances he couldn’t express that either. Sometimes he thought of the family she left behind - the other man she eventually married and who now raised their child on his own in that house in Bristol. 

‘Emmeline. I’m sorry.’ He said to her pillow. 


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alas Lubricus has been indefinitely postponed so that's one less thing to look forward to in 2021. But today is #IFD2021 so I'll try to look to the future and post another chapter.

Severus entered his front room to find Wiggy with a pile of folded clothes in her tiny outstretched arms. 

‘Professor Snape’s laundry is done.’ 

Severus was nonplussed. Generally the clean clothes appeared in his wardrobe while he was teaching. Personal delivery by a Hogwarts elf was not something he had experienced before. He held out his hands to relieve Wiggy of her burden.

‘Thank you, Wiggy.’ 

She kept the clothes in her arms. ‘Professor Snape’s nightshirts are very old. Hogwarts elves have patched them but they should be replaced.’ 

His mouth opened but Severus was somewhat lost for words. 

‘Er-’ 

Wiggy now raised her arms and allowed Severus to take back his laundry.

‘There is no need to return old nightshirts for cleaning unless Professor Snape would like these to be used for rags. Professor Snape must have new night clothes.’ 

‘That’ll be all, Wiggy.’ Severus snapped and whirled away from the elf who disappeared with a crack. He threw the cleaned clothes onto his bed from his bedroom doorway. Catching his reflection in the mirror of his ensuite he stopped. After a moment’s decision-making, he stalked toward the mirror and studied his hair. It was as dirty as Wiggy had described on her previous visit. Making a mental note to properly wash his hair tonight, he made do for now with two cleaning spells before leaving to start the working day. 

In the afternoon, Severus was headed for a much-deserved tea break when he was waylaid by a group of 8th years that included Harry Potter and his friends. 

‘Sir! Sir!’ 

He stopped and looked down his nose. ‘What is it, Granger?’ 

‘Sir, Madame Hooch has to take two 3rd years to the hospital wing and can’t see us for our seminar with her today.’ Hermione’s words came out in a rush, and it was clear that the idea of missing a seminar was distressing her.

His lip curled as he anticipated the request. 

‘Professor McGonagall said to ask you if you could meet with us instead.’ 

Minerva would know that he had a break now. His hands formed into fists as he looked from face to face, counting. His seminars were with up to four students at a time, and the idea of being in the presence of six excitable 8th years in the mood for something invigorating with Rolanda turned his stomach. He glanced out the window to his right. 

‘I’m going to walk around the lake. Anyone who can keep up may join me.’ He set off apace and didn’t check to see if anyone was following. He did however call over his shoulder. ‘You should transfigure your shoes to walking boots.’ 

It may have been the final fine day of early Autumn and the students chatted happily amongst themselves while following in their Defence teacher’s wake. Two paths circumvented the Great Lake below Hogwarts. One hugged it’s shoreline and was often muddy. The other was several meters higher up and included small stone bridges across the various streams that flowed down the hills to feed the lake. Severus took the higher path. They had reached a quarter of the lake’s circumference when finally a student dared to address him. It was Dean Thomas, whose wry questioning made Severus’ shoulders hunch.

‘Professor, if someone doesn’t know what to do when they leave school, what do you recommend?’

‘Hey!’ shouted one of the other students and a general shoving and laughing started up amongst the students. Severus stopped and looked back towards the castle. He realised that if he engaged with the question seriously, he could head back and end the walk early and the group would scarcely notice. 

He addressed Dean directly. ‘If it is a matter of not being able to decide between competing choices, the person in question might write down pros and cons of each option until the choice becomes clear. If it is a matter of being completely clueless…’ at this he made eye contact with Ron and with Seamus Finnigan, both of whom Severus knew had not given their Head of House any indication of a vocation. Severus set off walking back towards the castle. ‘I suppose they may consult the runes.’ 

‘Severus, why have you told our final years to consult ancient runes?’ Minerva said as she entered Severus’ office through the floo without invitation. 

‘Pardon?’ Severus asked, looking up from his marking with an innocent expression.

‘Come now, Severus. Bathsheba is a popular teacher. Her 8th year tutorials were already oversubscribed and now she has dozens of students clamoring to learn runic divination.’

‘Well, she can tell the students there is no such thing, can’t she?’

‘Don’t play that with me. She doesn’t have capacity to add a series of seminars on using runes in decision-making.’ 

Severus looked back at his marking. ‘Well then, perhaps the additional provision for the 8th years should be scrapped then.’ 

Minerva crossed her arms and watched him for a moment before nodding her head once, waving a hand and sitting down in front of him as a cup of coffee appeared on his desk. She reached for it. ‘Will you join me?’

He dropped his quill and sat back, steepling his fingers, waiting and not summoning a cup for himself. 

Minerva took a sip and started with a no-nonsense tone. ‘No doubt you have your reasons for taking the bare minimum of students for the bare minimum of sessions.’

‘The children benefit from smaller groups.’ 

‘And one in particular even gets to meet you one to one.’

‘Yes, well that was temporary.’ 

‘Potter says he has found it extremely useful.’

‘He’s easily pleased. I hope you aren’t suggesting I meet one to one with them all.’

‘No, but I think you can easily train, say, four students in runic focussing techniques and coach them in doing the same with their peers.’ 

Severus frowned, but had to admit to himself that it wasn’t an arduous task and saved him having to have actual conversations with the teenagers. 

‘Very well. Are there four students in particular you recommend?’

The four arrived together in his classroom at 8am on a Saturday morning. He had hoped to lose at least one of them by his inconvenient and unusual scheduling but the plan didn’t work. 

‘You each have a table.’ 

The students looked around the room to see that each desk had a box of runestones before taking their seats. Severus could see the sense in Minerva’s choices of students. Luna Lovegood appeared the most awake and engaged this morning. Her selection was particularly canny of the Headmistress, so Severus thought. He believed that no one other than her family would ever gainfully employ her, however facilitating people in the use of an intuition tool such as rune-reading was likely to play to her strengths. Hermione Granger no doubt believed this exercise was beneath her, but her teachers could see that she was well suited to education, and perhaps an opportunity to train her peers would enable her to realise this as well. Seamus needed focus, and a focusing technique was a start. Finally, there was Draco, who needed to consider his new options now that his life has taken an unexpected turn and he also would benefit from a structured way to overcome the barriers between himself and his remaining peers at Hogwarts. 

‘Reach into your box and take one runestone. Place it face up on your desk.’ 

For the first time in seven years, Severus was finding he occasionally had free time with no catastrophes to plan for or intervene in. On Sunday morning, Severus headed out for a walk and he invited Draco to join him. Draco met him in the courtyard wearing walking boots and a hooded cloak in dark blue. The clothes he wore underneath were more casual than he had worn in previous years and Severus wondered if Draco was coming out from under his father’s influence to find his own style. Alternatively, he knew Draco may have wanted to tone down his previous haughtiness. His hair now reached his shoulders and this may have contributed to a softening of his features. Severus realised he hadn’t seen the student smirk once this term. He still held his head high, met the eyes of teachers and spoke in class, but there was a certain flatness to him - a lack of expressiveness. The one exception was on the Quidditch pitch. 

‘I never got the chance to congratulate you yesterday.’ Severus said as they set off toward the wooden footbridge.

‘Thank you, sir.’ 

‘Ravenclaw are formidable this year. If Slytherin keep playing as you did yesterday…’

‘...yes, we are likely to win the Quidditch Cup. Not the House Cup of course.’ 

Thus did the student raise the topic of his depleted school house. 

‘Oh you never know, without Professor Dumbledore to favour Gryffindor anything could happen.’ 

Severus was pleased to see that his comment raised a small smile and that Draco seemed to relax slightly.

‘Thank you for the lesson in runes.’

‘You’ve found them useful?’

‘The people I’ve trained have. The readings made me popular in the common room for a few days.’ 

‘Have you practiced with anyone from another house yet?’ 

Draco looked up in surprise. ‘Do I have to?’ 

Severus knew there was one answer that would be easiest for Draco to hear, so that was the one he gave him. ‘Yes, offer readings to one person from each of the other houses before the next lesson. In fact, start with him.’ 

As they approached the Quidditch pitch, a student emerged onto the path carrying a broom and wearing a Gryffindor scarf. It was Harry Potter followed soon after by Ron Weasley. 

Severus stopped, which forced Draco to stop as well. ‘Mr Potter.’

‘Hello Sir.’ Harry looked from one to the other, frowning before seeming to make up his mind and addressing Draco. ‘That was great flying yesterday.’ 

Draco didn’t smile. ‘Thank you. You’ll be playing in the next match?’ 

‘He will.’ Ron answered, putting a hand on Harry’s shoulder.’ 

Draco ignored Ron. ‘Potter, I need to train more people in reading runes. Would you be willing to do a practice session with me?’ Thinking better of it, Draco changed tack and also addressed Ron. ‘Both of you.’ 

The two Gryffindors looked at each other, holding a silent conversation before Ron answered. ‘After dinner tonight?’ 

‘Alright.’ Draco answered with dignity before setting off again down the path. 

‘Weasley, Potter.’ Severus said to the air as he also began walking past. The burden that was Draco Malfoy was beginning to lift slightly and he was grateful to the Gryffindors though he wouldn’t show it.


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> An eagle brings an important message for Severus and he finds out more about what Wiggy has been up to.

Hermione looked around the Gryffindor common room from her place curled up in the corner of a squashy sofa. Ron was sprawled out and sipping a butterbeer as he waited for Harry to make his next play with the wizarding chess pieces. Harry hummed through clenched teeth and withdrew a hand he had been reaching towards a bishop. Turning his eyes to her, Ron reached out a hand to squeeze Hermione’s sock-covered foot. A lump came to her throat at the thought that all was right in her boyfriend’s world at this moment.

Ron’s face fell slightly. ‘Are you ok?’ He asked her, sitting up straighter and leaning towards her.

‘I’m just thinking how this is our last year.’ Her eyes swept around the room at the kids she’d lived amongst since she was 11. At this moment, she didn’t want her time at Hogwarts to end.

‘It’s only October!’ Ron exclaimed, disbelieving.

Harry also looked around at their fellow students. He shifted closer to the sofa and spoke in an undertone. ‘Does it seem like people are being more couple-y this year?’

Hermione smiled and tilted her head. ‘That’s just 7th year. And 8th I guess. People here do lots of getting together in their last year. You never noticed before?’

‘Don’t tell me that’s in Hogwarts, A History too? Ron teased and they all laughed together.

‘Harry, are you feeling lonely?’ Hermione asked, still smiling.

He dipped his head and his eyes glanced toward a corner where Lavender and Seamus were giggling. ‘Now you mention it - do you know who at Hogwarts is gay?’

‘Boys?’ Ron asked and looked at the ceiling as though trying to remember something. ‘I guess Steve.’

‘Stephen Cornfoot?’ Harry brought the brown-haired Ravenclaw to mind and got a faraway look as he imagined kissing him in the Astronomy Tower.

Ron didn’t notice his friend’s distraction. ‘Yeah. I mean, not to be stereotypical but he seems…well, gay, I guess’.

‘I saw him kissing Blaise actually.’ Hermione broke in.

‘Harry wouldn’t want a Slytherin.’ Ron admonished.

Hermione stood her ground. ‘He didn’t say he wanted an actual boyfriend - did you Harry?’

‘Huh? Well, no. I guess I just want to get in on the action a bit.’

Holding out her hand palm up as if her point was made, Hermione looked back at Ron. ‘See? And Blaise must be the best looking boy in the school.’

‘Yeah Ron.’ Harry gave his best friend a cheeky grin. ‘Don’t I deserve the best? I’m The Boy Who Lived!’

Severus now walked outside at least once a day. He was on his pre-breakfast constitutional when a golden eagle swooped down and dropped a scroll which he caught mid-air. In an instant, Wiggy appeared before him with a crack and summoned the scroll into her own hand.

‘Wiggy, may I have my post please?’

The elf’s chin was raised and her voice was serious. ‘Wiggy has not checked this letter yet.’

Her ability to wrongfoot him unnerved Severus. He looked around to check they had no audience, then raised a silencing ward before speaking. ‘Am I given to understand that you have been intercepting my post?’

She neither minded the question nor took it as a challenge. ‘Yes, since Professor returned to Hogwarts to be Headmaster.’

‘Do you check the post for every Headmaster?’ He was genuinely curious now.

‘Not for every Headmaster, but Wiggy was the personal helper for Professor Dumbledore and now is the personal helper for Professor Snape.’

Severus blinked. ‘How did you come to be my personal helper, Wiggy?’

Still holding the eagle-delivered scroll in one hand, Wiggy used the other to snap her fingers and a new scroll appeared in the air, unfurling before his face. In Albus’ hand, he read the words, _In the event of my no longer being Headmaster of Hogwarts, I Albus Dumbledore ask Wiggy..._

‘Albus Dumbledore asked Wiggy to help Severus Snape while he is at Hogwarts.’

The document mostly consisted of a list of tasks set out in surprising detail. It included removing howlers, death threats, angry letters and unhinged declarations of love from strangers from Severus’ post before it was delivered to him. Outrage at the invasion of his privacy wrestled with his grief and guilt at any thought of Dumbledore and with some overwhelming unknown feeling caused by the thoughtfulness of the arrangements the man had made for Severus in preparation for his death.

He cleared his throat, his eyes still on the document. ‘I don’t see on here any instruction to criticise my appearance or my clothes.’

Wiggy approached and raised a bony finger to the fourth line from the bottom which read simply Make sure he is looked after generally.

Severus spluttered, snatched the scroll from the air, rolled it up and thrust it at her. ‘May I have my delivery now please?’ he growled.

Unfazed, the elf pulled the scroll open and read aloud. ‘Kaussar Kahn of Advocates to the Wizarding World is coming to Hogwarts today at 9.30am to meet with Professor Snape.’ Wiggy handed the scroll to him with a matter of fact, ‘The letter is safe.’

He took it from her and saw that it was a formal letter from the AWW informing him of the appointment. His stomach dropped to the floor as a range of scenarios of varying levels of catastrophic went through his mind. He had no reason to expect a visit from a lawyer. His feet felt heavy as he headed back to the castle and what he was certain was his doom.

Severus couldn’t face breakfast and headed to the Astronomy Tower instead. He was looking over the mountains and brooding when a noise behind him made him turn.

‘Oh, sorry Professor.’

It was Harry Potter with a letter in his hand. He raised it slightly in explanation and walked away from Severus and toward a beam on which sat the school’s own owls which were available for students’ use.

Harry explained almost apologetically. ‘I don’t have my own owl anymore. I guess I should get around to buying a new one.’

Severus felt he should respond with something. ‘I had a delivery by golden eagle today.’ He almost winced, wondering why he would share that with a student.

Harry’s face opened in wonder. ‘There’s eagle post?’

In spite of himself, Severus was pleased to have impressed a student. ‘Apparently so.’ He set off for the stairs but stopped in the doorway. ‘Thank you for agreeing to let Malfoy practice rune-reading with you.’ He kept his voice level but did make eye contact with Harry.

‘Oh, that was no problem. He’s good at it anyway.’ Harry shrugged, then he smiled. ‘The runes told me I should work with magical creatures.’ He looked delighted with the idea.

‘I very much doubt that you should do that, Mr Potter.’

‘Yeah, me too. It was a fun idea though.’ He gave Severus smile so broad that it was almost infectious.

Severus held back his own smile until he was halfway down the stairs, his back to the student.

Kaussar Khan was young, perhaps in her early ‘30s, but she emanated competence. Minerva had suggested that Severus held his meeting with the advocate in the Headmistress’ office.

The lawyer was officious though courteous. ‘I apologise for the short notice. It was an unusual case. The instruction materialised on the Senior Wizarding Advocate’s desk just yesterday with the instruction to carry out the deceased’s wishes on the first Halloween following the final defeat of Lord Voldemort.’

His mouth was dry. ‘The deceased.’

She waved her wand and her large leather briefcase opened. A small stack of papers of varying colours and seemingly varying ages emerged and dropped onto Minerva’s desk. Severus reached out and lifted the top sheet.

‘The instructions are lengthy, so if you agree I will begin with a short summary.’

‘Ye-’ His voice cracked. ‘Yes please do.’

‘Albus Dumbledore left an addendum to his will that was left magically sealed until the second of May this year.’

‘The day the Dark Lord was defeated.’

‘Indeed.’ There were other instructions in this addendum that we were able to act on at the time, however this one, as you will see on page three, was to be delivered today.’

He looked down on the first page again, giving his eyes something to do as he waited for her to continue.

‘As you will see on pages five to eleven, you have been left a sizable legacy by Albus Dumbledore. You can take this as a lump sum or draw out as and when. Page twelve is a letter of instruction to Gringotts to provide you with the key to the vault which when you sign the papers will belong to you. Would you like some time to read through the papers?’

‘Yes please’ he mumbled.

Kaussar nodded and helped herself to the tea tray that Minerva had sent up to them.

He made his way through the stack of papers. The first page was the instruction for the advocates. The second page was a summary of the legacy and pages three and four were a testimony by Dumbledore that since 31 October 1981 Severus had been working under his instructions in the resistance to Voldemort and his followers. Pages five to seven set out details of the legacy - the amount, the fact that it could be taken as a lump sum or drawn gradually from the vault, the fact that it could be taken in Wizarding or Muggle money. From page 8, Severus’ hands began to shake. In lengthy and complex legalese, the papers set out that Severus was to receive the money regardless of any legal charges, prosecution or imprisonment now or in the future.

‘Do ask me any questions. Tea?’

‘Yes please. No sugar.’ He sat breathing as she made the drink and handed it to him.

The advocate saw the page that lay open on the desk. ‘It’s watertight. The legacy can’t be taken from you by any legal means. It turns out that Albus Dumbledore put the will together with the previous Senior Advocate Witch before she retired. If the Ministry tries to confiscate the vault, the funds will transfer to a Muggle bank account. Should that happen, we have instructions to assist you in accessing that. We have a Muggle finance specialist in the team. Information about that is on page sixteen.’

The heaviness he had felt since reading the meeting invitation that morning was dissipating to be replaced by something like a balloon filling inside him.

‘He’s left me a war pension.’

The advocate looked thoughtful for a moment. ‘Yes, I think that is a good description. And he’s proofed it against any tarnish to your reputation that may have come from the fog of war. I suppose you will accept the bequest?’

He blinked and realised he had been staring into his tea. He looked up. ‘Yes.’

She nodded. ‘There’s no rush. I will leave the papers with you for, say three days? Then it’s a matter of signing…’ She waved her wand and the papers flipped to show the final page which included spaces for his and a witness’s signature. ‘...In the mean time you can firecall me at the office. Can I offer you congratulations?’

Severus sat for a long time as waves of successive emotions crashed through him. When Minerva found him he was staring at the ceiling with his eyes wide and a beatific smile.

‘Has someone slipped you a catha potion?’ She asked, crossing her arms.

He turned his smile to the Headmistress. ‘Might I be able to reduce my hours next year?’

The possibilities! Now that he had choices in his life, Severus didn’t know where to begin. He didn’t want to go mad with massive life changes, so wouldn’t leave his job - at least not yet. He spent his afternoon break hiking purposefully up the nearest hill, trying to work out his nervous energy and euphoria. A fine mist of rain was falling and the Autumn cold had set in, but he was generating enough heat to not notice the damp soaking through his robes. By the end of the walk he had resolved to write down all the things he could do, then rank them in order of what he most wanted to do. He stopped and watched a mist drift across the loch and was reminded of the three witches that gave him the choice to keep living. On a deep exhale he recounted their names. ‘Jenny, Alice, Elspeth.’ He remembered the elder witch’s words, ‘Your path has taken turns twice before. It now lays straight’.

The mist cleared over a white object in the distance that he noticed with a jolt was the grave of Albus Dumbledore. It came to him at once that he had more to do and that enjoying his new financial security was the least of it.


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Severus heads to Canal Street for some anonymous shagging.

_Why does having money make me randy?_ Severus asked himself as he did his final sit-up of the session and realised that an exhausting workout hadn’t stopped him thinking about sex. Since learning of his inheritance, he found his mind turning to sex incessantly. When he woke up having had a wet dream he resolved to do something about it. Not having classes tomorrow, he had arranged with Minerva to get a night off premises and he intended to spend it getting off with as many men as he could. Anticipation flooded through him at the thought of Canal Street.

Severus took a portkey that brought him to the wizarding arrival zone of Manchester Piccadilly Station. He had worn boots tonight, intending to go to a sex club and knowing that this was frequently a requirement. Spying a copy of _Boyz_ magazine discarded on a station bench, he picked it up and flipped through it until he found what he was after.

_Club Alert! 15 Bloom Street_

His stomach fluttered. He hadn’t been to a darkroom before though he’d been in bars that had them and watched men disappear behind the curtain for anonymous sex. He wasn’t sure he’d go through with it until he himself was facing the curtain in the basement bar 30 minutes after arriving at Piccadilly and immediately after finishing a quickly downed vodka.

‘Going in, duck?’ Came a Mancunian voice to his right. He turned his head to see two bears standing close to each other and holding pints.

The other bear glanced at Severus’ shoes then back up to his face. ‘You’ll do.’ He teased, not unkindly. ‘Just strip off to boots only and you’ll have a good night.’

Severus cleared his throat, said ‘Thanks’, and headed into the dark room.

He didn’t know how many men he’d kissed or cocks he’d touched or how many hands had been on his cock, but Severus came three times before he got dressed and left. In the toilet he washed his face and hands and when briefly alone he scourgified the semen off of his shoes. It wasn’t a fetish of his, but he didn’t mind someone getting off on his boots especially if it had been the man who’d given him that excellent blow job. He stepped out onto the street and filled his lungs with the cold November air. Following the sound of dance music to Canal Street, Severus found a large glass-fronted gay bar. The boldness of it impressed him and he headed in, ordered a half a cider and found a seat by the window. Nursing the drink and watching beautiful men inside the bar and out on the street, he recalled the previous hour or two he’d spent in the sex club. Kissing men who tasted of other men wasn’t something he had enjoyed. The feel of a man coming in his hand and panting in his ear had been exciting, the blowjob memorable and the man who asked him to come on his face slightly disconcerting. The overall experience was satiating, but he wasn’t sure he’d do it again in a hurry. It wasn’t dissimilar enough from a Death Eater sex party he’d once narrowly avoided attending.

Looking around the gay bar, he sought out the happiest faces he could see to dispel the memory of sweaty Death Eaters stumbling drunkenly towards the Malfoy’s parlour. He realised didn’t want to leave Manchester without actually having had a conversation with anyone and gazed on the faces he liked the most until one made eye contact. The young man acknowledged him with a quick lift of his eyebrows before striding over and clinking his glass against Severus’. Severus took in his dark, unusually messy hair, his tight-fitting t shirt and finally his eyes, which he now saw were green. He told himself that the young man’s superficial resemblance to Harry Potter should have put him off, but he found it didn’t. He smiled and reached out to rub a finger down the man’s knuckles.


End file.
